GIANT STALINIST CRABS!!!

This article is headlined, "Stalin's last army - hordes of gigantic crabs on their way to invade Europe". I found the story linked on Neil Gaiman's blog and I felt it was the sort of news that should be posted everywhere, in case you're Norwegian and you want to keep all your fingers. Or if you're a Jerry Bruckheimer/Michael Bay production in need of a concept. I suggest a combat strategy involving forks, bibs, and melted butter.

The weirdest part of this is the fact that this is a result of "a Stalinist era scheme to provide food for the populations in the north-western Soviet Union". I guess he eventually gave up and let the people starve to death. Little did he know that if he'd just waited until the 1990s, the crab population would explode and invade Norway, leaving environmental devastation and tasty eatin' in their wake. No word on how this will affect the imitation crab industry...

Obligatory Oscar Post

So, RotK swept the awards. Good for them! I mean, there are cinematic achievements and then there are Cinematic Achievements.

I totally missed Michael Moore's cameo in the opening montage with Billy Crystal. I watched the first little bit of that and it was painful, so I wandered off into the other room for a minute. I hope Moore's back at the winner's podium next year with his upcoming Farenheit 911. Come to think of it, there was a surprising lack of rabble-rousing considering Tim Robbins and Sean Penn both won.

Anybody out there seen The Fog of War? I saw the trailer when we went to see Bubba Ho-Tep and it looked fascinating. I can't believe Errol Morris was never nominated before this year. Gotta see that movie.

And what the hell was Uma Thurman wearing? A shower curtain? A dry cleaning bag? When Quentin Tarantino knows how to dress you better than you do yourself, it's maybe not your best day as a glamour gal.

The movie so nice, they made it twice

What's weirder about Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights? The fact that Lawrence Bender is one of its producers? That it got made at all when the DVD and soundtrack CD from the 1987 original still sell thousands of copies a year (ok, milking the cash cow is a good enough excuse)? Or the fact that Patrick Swayze has a cameo playing Johnny Castle, his character from the original film? This is the most intriguing part of it all to me, since the original DD was set in 1963, but this one's set in 1958. So that means Johnny "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" Castle un-aged about 17 years over the 5 years before he met Jennifer "I carried a watermelon" Grey and lost his gig in the Catskills. Or he's a time-traveler. Yeah, I like that one better.

Now I have memories of slumber parties circa 1988 where all the girls wanted to watch were Dirty Dancing and the beach volleyball scene from Top Gun.

I also have memories of the 10th anniversary re-release of the original in 1997, largely spurred by Conan O'Brien's facetious calls for such an event. Meredith and I went to see it in the theater then and you know, in a weird way, the movie kinda works. I'm sure I'll end up seeing this one too, if for no other reason than to behold the glory that is time-travelin' Patrick Swayze.

Vile Recipe of the Week

I'm hoping to make this a regular feature. I also might post good recipes, but the truly nasty-sounding ones are way more entertaining.

This week's vile recipe comes from The Complete Outdoor Cookbook by Yvonne Young Tarr, copyright 1973. I'm sure this is some kind of beloved ethnic food that somebody's grandma used to make, but I think this part of the culture barrier is gonna stay intact.

Hlodnik

"A gorgeous pink, chilled beet soup garnished with hard-cooked eggs and lemon slices. Its flavor is enhanced by the chopped shrimp, cucumbers and ham."

8 small beets, sliced
1/2 cup young beet tops, minced
1 1/2 cups water
5 tablespoons scallions, minced
1 tablespoon fresh dill, minced
1 1/4 cups sour cream
1/4 cup lemon juice
2 teaspoons vinegar
1 teaspoon salt
5 cups chicken broth
1 cup cooked shrimp
2 medium-sized cucumbers
1 1/2 cups cooked ham
feshly ground black pepper
5 hard-cooked eggs
8 thin slices lemon

(Serves 8)

Place the beets and beet tops in a saucepan. Add the water and cook for 20 minutes, or until the beets are tender. Cool the beets, reserving the cooking water, and chop them very fine. Stir the chopped beets into the beet water, and add the scallions, dill, sour cream, lemon juice, vinegar, salt and chicken broth. Refrigerate for 3 hours or longer. Place soup bowls in the refrigerator. Chop the shrimp. Peel and chop the cucumbers. Dice the cooked ham. Chill well. Stir the shrimp, cucumbers and ham into the cold soup.

To serve, put 1 tablespoon of crushed ice in each chilled bowl and pour the soup over it. Sprinkle with the black pepper and garnish with the hard-cooked eggs, cut in lengths, and lemon slices.


No, seriously, that's what it says. Old cookbooks are awesome. If anybody out there gets up the nerve to actually make this, you must tell me how it is. Bonus points if you get your friends to eat it.

Testing. Oh boy, I don't know what I'm doing. Here goes nuthin'!